


Six Christmases

by alternate_me



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Morning, Cute, Destiel - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Future Castiel, Future Dean, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker, Old Castiel, Old Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-14 16:28:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9193232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alternate_me/pseuds/alternate_me
Summary: This is the story of six Christmases in the lives of Dean and Castiel. It goes from when they still hunted together, to when they actually got together and what their life became after that.Six different dates, six different stages of their lives - all of them equally important and decisive.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [watxhmen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/watxhmen/gifts).



> So, yeah, I hadn't written fanfic for over a year, shame on me! In my defense, it was a quite busy year for me, AND, unfortunately, I've grown a bit indifferent to the current plot of Supernatural - my main source of fics. Also destiel is slowly making room for hannigram and viktuuri and other non-queerbating couples, of which I haven't written anything yet - but maybe will do so in the future.
> 
> With that in mind, I'm sorry about any mistakes I've made because it's been a while since I wrote these characters, and I may be a little out of touch here.
> 
> But the REALLY important thing I needed to say is that this is a Secret Santa gift for my friend and fellow INTJ, [Lais](https://archiveofourown.org/users/watxhmen). So, this story's got fluff and angst - things I know you enjoy - and it was intended to be a simple thing - although I got a bit carried away and it ended up being longer than I thought it would be, hope you don't mind it hahahhaahah Anyway, really hope you enjoy it! <3

####  24th of December, 2015. Somewhere in the north of the country 

The door slammed as Dean passed through it; he couldn’t stop it of doing s so as he was carrying a lot in his hands.

“Dean, come on, you’ve said we wouldn’t do it this year” Sam said from the hotel bed he was sitting at, with his computer on his lap.

“Oh, shut up, Sam” Dean answered; he bore a bright smile on his face, which they hadn’t seen for a very long time, at least not after all the Mark-of-Cain-fiasco “It’s Christmas, Grinch”

Castiel was sat on a chair, writing something on his cellphone. He didn’t raise his head. Dean rushed to Sam and gave him a package wrapped in bright gift paper.

“Dean, come on, you didn’t have to” Sam seemed to be a little embarrassed. 

“But I wanted to” Dean said “You don’t have to give anything back, really. I just had to do something so this Christmas would not go unmarked”

Sam sighed and set the gift aside. He got up and hugged Dean tightly.

“Merry Christmas, Dean”

“Merry Christmas, Sam” there was a brief moment till they parted “I thought that after all the shit we went through, we deserved to relax a little bit. And what best holiday to enjoy than Christman, eh?”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I guess I’ve just been so worried with the Darkness thing lately”

Sam then reached out for his bag.

“Well, I thought whether we should work on this and stuff rather than celebrate. And then I thought ‘fuck it, she isn’t worth it’”

Sam apparently found what he was looking for inside his bag.

“All I wanted for today was spending time with you guys, like, seriously” Dean concluded, looking satisfied.

“I also bought something to you, although I haven’t have the time to wrap it up” Sam finally said, reaching out his hand to Dean and revealing a piece of pie and a brand new penknife “It’s not much, I mean, I got it at the little store right in front of here”

Dean took the gifts into his hands and admired them for a while. Then a wide smile spread on his face.

“You _were_ prepared then” he said, as he punched Sam slightly on the shoulder.

“I knew you were going to do something, and I didn’t want to have ‘nada’ to give you”

At that moment, they heard a long and irritated sigh coming from Cas. They both looked at him. He seemed to be upset about something he was looking at on his phone.

“Come on, Cas, you don’t need to be upset that you didn’t get me anything” Dean said, teasing the angel.

Then Cas looked up from his phone for the first time and frowned, obviously confused.

“It’s not that, Dean” he said, in his usual serious and harsh voice “Uh, well, Claire won’t be able to make it, she said she’d rather stay with Jody for the holiday” he suddenly looked a bit sad as he spoke.

Dean and Sam both frowned, a little upset too. Soon, though, Dean walked towards Cas and put his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it slightly. The angel looked up at him.

“Come on, Cas, I promise I’m gonna call you when we go visiting them, and we’re all going to go together” he smiled, comforting him.

Cas nodded slightly.

“Yeah, well, I suppose you’re right, Dean. Thanks”

“Anyway” Dean said, walking away from Cas and approaching his bed, where he had left three other boxes “I would need to visit her anyway, as I bought her a gift too”

“It’s not a gun?” Cas asked at once, worry on his voice.

“ _Relax_ , Cas” Dean rushed to say, he seemed amused “Come on, why do you have to be always so uptight?”

Cas answered nothing, he just stood there, looking at Dean in reprehension and doubt. After a few seconds, Dean looked away from the angel’s eyes, sighing.

“It’s not a gun” he said “It’s a penknife. Actually, it’s identical to the one Sam just gave me” and then he shrugged as Sam and Cas looked at him in disbelief “There weren’t many options” he said, as though he was offended by their reprehension.

“Dean, you’ve got to stop giving her dangerous stuff”

“I’m the cool dad” he laughed “I thought we’d already settled that. I’ve _got_ to give her cool stuff, it’s, like, my duty or something”

Sam raised his eyebrows at the mentioning of the “cool dad” thing. None of the other two noticed it, and they also didn’t comment on that. 

“Oh, okay, Cas, don’t be mad, please” Dean said as he grabbed another box, the smallest of the four of them “I also bought you something, come on”

Cas stood there, looking at Dean. Then, after a while, he accepted the white flag. He got up and Dean handled him the gift. He took it and hugged Dean tightly, to which the hunter took a bit to correspond, but finally did. Sam had already sat down to open his gift when they pulled away.

“I-I haven’t bought you anything, Dean” Cas said, suddenly embarrassed “I didn’t know whether or not you two exchanged gifts as a Christmas tradition, and I didn’t bring anything, sorry”

“Hey, hey, don’t worry, Cas” Dean said “It’s your first Christmas, ain’t it? You don’t have to worry about this stuff”

Then Sam suddenly realized something. He widened his eyes.

“Oh, that’s right, it’s your first Christmas, Cas” then he got up and rushed to hug Cas too “Welcome to the Winchesters’ Christmas. It kind of suck, but it’s better than nothing” 

“I’m actually enjoying it very much so far” Cas smiled.

“Wait till you see the little Christmas tree that I’ve just bought” Dean said, pointing at the last box which, till that moment, had remained a mystery “We’re going to do some good shit this year, even being on a case” he rubbed his hands, anxious to get the tree out of the box.

Then, Dean realized Cas was just staring at him, his gift still unopened in his hand.

“Cas, hey” he said “Open your present”

Cas seemed to wake up from whatever he was thinking about and started to undo the wrap. Sam was already smiling at the cheap book Dean had found at the store. As the angel peeked inside the box, he smiled widely in surprise. Sam was too busy to notice it, but Dean had silently stopped to open the tree box and had been watching the angel, waiting for his reaction. 

Suddenly, the smile on Cas’s lips was gone as he got up. It appeared he had just decided something. He walked with certainty towards Dean and stopped in front of the hunter.

“Dean, help me with something, please” he said and tilted his head towards the door.

Sam finally raised his eyes, frowning at the angel’s request. Dean looked as confused as his brother.

“What? What thing?”

“Just, please, I need your help to buy something. Will you go with me?” he continued, unyielding.

Dean looked at Sam, who shrugged. Then he looked at Castiel again and nodded.

“Okay, then” he said, getting up “Sam, we will be right back”

Cas and Dean left the room in silence and walked towards the store in front of the motel. They were almost at the store, and Dean hadn’t asked Cas what he wanted to buy. Before he could say anything, though, Cas suddenly turned to him, stopping a little before they reached the entrance of the shop, beside a beautiful tall Christmas tree.

“You didn’t find this here, did you?” the angel said, raising a necklace on his hand – his Christmas present. It had two closed silver wings as a pendant.

“No, this is the necklace you were looking at that showcase in Detroit. You’d seemed to really have enjoyed it, so I decided to buy it as an early Christmas present”

There was a sudden and heavy silence between them. Cas was looking at Dean again with that expression that puzzled the hunter. It looked as if Cas wanted something, although he couldn’t actually discover what it was.

“I _love_ it” Cas finally said “Thank you” he didn’t stop staring at Dean as he said it “Really, I _love_ it”

The angel’s gaze had started bothering Dean; he realized his face was heating up. He casually rubbed his left hand on his cheek to cover it up. Then something distracted Castiel and made him look away. A little girl passed by them with her mother, and, as she did so, she pointed at them and giggled, saying something to her mother, which they could not hear. When her mother listened to what the girl had said, she reprehended the child and speeded up the pace. 

Cas frowned, not getting why the girl had done that. He looked at Dean, but Dean was facing upward, his face blushed again as he had realized the reason for the giggle. They were certainly close to each other, closer than Dean had noticed at first, and, above them, there was a mistletoe branch.

“What happened, Dean? Do you know what that girl was laughing at?”

That was enough to make Dean look at Cas again and starting moving away from that spot. He pulled Castiel by his pulse; then he seemed to realize that attitude was not helping them not to be seen as a couple. He stopped.

“Dean, is there something wrong?” Cas asked, a clear worry on his voice.

“N-No, Cas, everything is fine” he replied, mentally telling his face to stop blushing. He and Sam were frequently mistaken by a couple, and yet he had never acted like that. It was the first time it happened with him and Cas, and it was weird, he didn’t know what to say for a moment. 

As though Cas knew all of that and was adamant about turning his life into a particular hell at the moment, the angel’s wide blue eyes were staring at him again.

_Shit_.

“Wha-What did you want to do, Cas?” he tried to resume their conversation.

“I need to buy you something, Dean” he said “But I’m afraid you’re not going to like it, so I thought you could come with me and help me choose the right thing”

Dean didn’t say anything to Cas about that it was not usually the right way to buy presents. At that moment, he only wished to walk and breathe a little bit - get his mind occupied. So he thought: _“why not?”_

“Yeah, okay, Cas, then let’s get inside, shall we?”

Before they moved, Cas looked once again at Dean.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, Cas, I’m great” he said, his voice a little squeaky by the end of the sentence.

He cleared his throat and tried to smile.

“Come on, Cas, let’s get inside” he repeated.

Cas opened the door for them, and they both entered the store. Before Dean do so, however, he looked back, as though he was checking to be sure no one else was looking at them.

#### 24th of December, 2019. The bunker. 

Cas was looking at the photographs they had put on the Christmas tree. He had a glass of red wine in his hand, of which he sipped from time to time. He smiled slightly as he passed his eyes through photos of him and Dean and Sam from the last few years. There was him and Dean in front of the Impala, on a day of extreme heat, the photo had been taken from inside the car, by Sam, it showed Dean throwing water on his hair, as Cas stood there, unbothered by the temperature and, therefore, looking weirdly at Dean. Then, there was Sam with their new dog on the couch of the bunker, he was smiling wide. The next one captured the moment when Dean rolled his eyes as Cas was holding a videogame control, trying to play it. The last one brought the three of them, Dean on the middle, holding them together; his left hand held Sam’s left shoulder, his right hand hold Cas closer to him by his waist. As he lay his eyes on the last one, Cas’s smile got wider.

Then, suddenly, a hand came from behind and embraced him in front of his stomach. He felt a body pressing against his back and a hot breath on his neck, followed by warm and smooth lips pressed against his skin in short kisses.

“You’ve drunk too much, haven’t you?”

“How dare you?” Dean said, but Cas could tell he was lying from the smell of his breath.

Then Dean’s other hand embraced him too and held him there, his lips advancing to his jaw.

“Sam’s right there in the kitchen, Dean” Cas reminded him, holding Dean’s hands and trying to push them away, but the hunter was adamant about keeping hugging him. He soon gave up his efforts and, instead, let both of his hands rest upon Dean’s.

After a moment, Dean tightened the hug and raised his head, whispering into Cas’s ear.

“I’ve noticed you haven’t given me anything this year”

Cas rushed to explain.

“You know I always leave my presents under the tree in the morning, Dean. It’s my favorite part of the traditions”

“Yeah, well” his voice suddenly turned slow, seductive “I was thinking, maybe, you could give mine before that” Dean said, teasing him. 

Then his voice became nearly inaudible as he spoke swiftly into Cas’s ear. The more he talked, the more Cas got blushed and hot, till the moment the angel decided to end that, pulling away and facing Dean. 

“You _are_ drunk. Can’t you just be a little bit more discreet?” his words tried to be reprehensive, but his voice ruined it, as he was obviously too happy with whatever Dean had told him.

“’Can’t you be a little more discreet?’” Dean imitated Cas’s harsh voice.

Then the angel touched Dean’s forehead quickly. The hunter widened his eyes and staggered. 

“The hell you did to me?” Dean asked.

“I _undrunked_ you”

“You _undrunked_ me?” Dean looked a bit confused “Can you do that?”

“I could pull your ass out of hell, Dean, of course I can do this” he said, grinning.

Dean then started laughing, his eyes shining with a sudden happiness.

“You always surprise me, Cas, in a way or another”

“Well, if you behave right now, I’ll think about what you asked me for Christmas” he said, surprisingly serious, his eyes fixated on Dean’s.

Dean gulped down, feeling his face blushing fast. He really ought to be drunk right now. There was a sudden silence, and Cas turned to face the tree again, examining the photographs again. Dean stood beside him, looking at them too, his face coming back to normal.

“What are you thinking of?” he asked Cas after a while of contemplation.

Cas looked at him, pondering before he said anything.

“Uh-“ he staggered “I was wondering something. Nothing of importance, though”

“What is it?” he insisted “Come on, Cas, you know you can tell me”

There was a brief silence.

“Have you ever wanted something more?”

The words left Cas’s mouth with a weird sound and floated above them, upsettingly quiet.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked him, his voice sounded bothered for the first time at that night.

“I mean, how long do you think you’re going to keep hunting? Do you pretend to drop it someday? Do you have any plans for you?” he hesitated “For us?”

Dean pressed his lips, suddenly unease.

“And you, Cas” he answered with a question after a while “You’ve got any plans for _us_?”

Cas could noticed he had hit a delicate matter for Dean. He suddenly wished he had waited a bit more to say it. He didn’t want to ruin Christmas for Dean, as he knew the hunter could be bothered for longer than he would admit it.

“I mean, I-“ Cas mumbled till he could organize his words “I was thinking, these days, that maybe it would be nice, _someday_ , certainly not soon. No pressure, it was just a stupid, meaningless idea anyway”

“Speak up, Cas”

“I’ve started having thoughts of what would it be like to live with you”

“You live with me” Dean said, sounding a bit stressed.

“You know what I mean” he sighed, now really wishing he hadn’t said anything “I mean a house to ourselves, me and you. A life that would not be strictly one of hunting. Settling down with you, that’s what I mean”

Dean then moved in order to face Cas. His expression was confusing. There was some pure joy in that, for seeing how Cas had a planned future for them; however, there were also a kind of sadness and disbelief on his face – maybe a bit of anger too.

“Cas, you know I’m always going to be a hunter” he said “And you’re an angel. Do you really think we could have a normal, happy life? ‘Cause I don’t think we can”

Dean looked at the floor, in distress. He gulped down, a few tears started to burn on his eyes. He controlled himself, not knowing exactly where all of those feelings were coming from.

“You’ve already had that in a point of your life”

The tears got more insistent.

“And see what happened then” he said, still not facing Cas.

“Dean” Cas called him, intending to make him look at him, but he didn’t “Lisa and Ben were not hunters, nor angels” he was careful as he pronounced their names “They couldn’t take the twists and comebacks this kind of life brings us. But I know all the implications of being a hunter. You wouldn’t need to worry about protecting me, Dean, you know that”

Dean would say something, but it got stuck on his throat. He breathed deeply, and tried it again.

“You really think we would be able to do it? I just-“ the lump on his throat made it hard for him to carry on “I just don’t want to go through it again. I don’t want someone to get hurt because of me, because I’m trying to get a normal life. And I don’t ever think I could feel home, and safe, living like this. I _cannot_ try it again, Cas, and I’ve made peace with it”

Then Cas grabbed Dean’s chin and raised it so he would face him. Dean rushed to dry the few tears which where threatening to fall down. Cas’s eyes were unbearably calm and comforting. The hunter didn’t know how it was even possible.

“Dean, the first time I decided to go against my brothers was very scary. I didn’t know what would happen, I was afraid of falling, of walking the Earth and never finding what I had in Heaven. I was afraid of never belonging here” he said, and, as he carried on, his voice got smoother “But I did it anyway, I did it when _someone_ told me what really meant to have a family: to be always there for those whom you love, even if it pains you to do so”

Dean was entirely concentrated on Cas’s voice, as they looked at each other intensely.

“I was afraid I would never find home. But I did. I was afraid it would never feel right. And yet, here I am – with you” he said, cupping Dean’s cheek with his right hand. Dean closed his eyes at the touch, sighing and gulping down.

Then Cas got closer to Dean and spoke on his ear, his hands pressing against Dean’s back.

“I’ve found love in you” he said “I _love_ you, Dean Winchester”

Dean’s lips trembled as Cas pulled back. The angel looked at his eyes for a brief moment before moving his head forward and kissing Dean on the lips. He kissed him smoothly and kindly. It didn’t last long, but when they parted, Dean was somehow smiling. 

Cas hugged him again, even more tightly. He ruffled his fingers through Dean’s hair and pressed the side of his head against his.

“I’ve discovered home is not a place most of the times. It’s people, and it’s feelings”

Cas pulled back again, and they looked at each other for a long moment before any of them did anything.

“And it’s _you_ ” 

Then Cas raised his hand again and cupped Dean’s cheek, his thump pressed against Dean’s bottom lip as they stared at each other.

“You’re my home, Dean. So you don’t have to worry with what I just said, I was just thinking out loud. I won’t force anything, because you are enough for me. And you always will be enough for me” 

There was a short pause as they looked at each other. Apparently Cas’s words had smoothed the tension between them, as Dean was now smiling slightly, and his expression gave away a pure happiness of standing there with Cas.

“I'm with you till the end of the line, right?” Cas suddenly said.

There was a moment of silence before Dean started giggling, looking at Cas in awe.

“Did you just quote Captain America?”

“Yeah” Cas said, naturally, as if referencing things was something he did on a daily basis.

Then Dean’s slight smile became larger, he pulled Cas towards him and kissed him softly.

“Sure” he said, pulling back and looking deep into Cas’s eyes “Till the end of the line”

#### 25th of December, 2029. A small and neat house somewhere in the south of the country.

When Dean opened his eyes, the morning had already begun a couple hours ago. He rubbed his eyes and yawned; the room was already lit brightly, the white curtains couldn’t overshadow all sunshine.

Dean stretched his legs and let his eyes wander the room. It was maybe the first time he didn’t fell misplaced by lying there until late in the morning. When they moved in, it hadn’t been easy. The hunter had got used to the bunker, and to his bedroom. There, he felt he was in a safe place, where he could rest, and be himself. A place where he could come back after months on the road and still feel like he belonged there – that was what home meant to him.

So, when Cas started talking about moving out, Dean at once dodged all of his tries, till he couldn’t anymore. Then, he would feel a bit anxious each time it hit him that he would be leaving soon. The first time he saw that white room, that clean room, there was nothing for him there – nothing but an angel sat on the bed, in the same old trench coat.

Dean clutched that trench coat, and let its smell intoxicate him till he felt safe again. And, with time, it worked. The feel of being out of place attenuated and it all led to that Christmas morning, where it felt like _his_ bedroom, like _their_ bedroom – as thought it had been a Christmas miracle.

Dean sighed, looking at his right, to find Cas lying on his side, with his back to him. Everything was silent at that short moment; he could perceive Cas’s peaceful slow breathing by how his body moved slightly. It was a second of pure and true peace Dean wished could last forever.

Then he decided to end it. He approached Cas slowly, trying not to wake the angel up. His left hand slid lazily over Cas’s ass and thigh. The angel moved a bit, but didn’t wake up entirely. He was a heavy sleeper.

Dean brought his body close, spooning Cas. His lips landed on Cas’s neck in slow and sweet kisses of someone who is still very sleepy. That made the angel open his eyes and look at Dean; he still looked a bit confused from waking up. 

“Morning, sunshine” Dean said, and kissed Cas’s lips right after “Your breathe is terrible” he said then, laughing and moving his hands up on Cas’s body, till he hugged him - his hands over his stomach. 

“I didn’t ask you to kiss me” Cas said, his usual harsh voice even harsher from sleeping.

“Your eyes asked me too. They speak more truly than your voice does most of the time”

Cas smiled widely, turning his body in order to lie on his back; he looked at the ceiling. Dean stood by his side, looking at Castiel, head supported by his hand. Then Cas’s left arm embraced Dean’s back and pulled his body towards him. The hunter had to place his left hand on Cas’s right so he wouldn’t fall completely over the angel. 

Castiel smiled as his right hand reached out to Dean’s chin and pulled his head down, so their mouths would meet halfway. Dean discovered, over the years, that Cas was the best kisser of both of them. He could bring Dean to the act so easily, and he was so precise and clean on his moves, and yet, so eager. 

They pulled back; Cas’s eyes burned on Dean.

“Good morning, Dean” he smiled, his right hand now ruffling Dean’s hair, where he spotted a few grey strands.

“Merry Christmas” Dean replied, and lowered his head again to kiss Cas, this time more intensely. 

Then, they heard sudden noises of movement in the house. A door slammed, and there was the sound of steps in a rush, each moment closer to their bedroom.

Dean at once pulled back, sitting on the bed and leaning his back on the wall. Cas was doing the same when the door finally opened, and a blur of long dark hair jumped onto the bed. 

The little girl looked at them with excited eyes.

“Good morning, daddies!” she yelled “It’s Christmas!”

The girl looked as though she was about six years-old. Her front teeth were big and very white; she had recently lost a tooth, and one could see that blank space in her mouth as she spoke – but she was really happy about it, she had earned ten bucks from the Tooth Angel.

“Morning, cupcake” Dean said, pulling her close and kissing her forehead “Slept well?”

“Can I open my presents?” she exclaimed, her eyes giving away her anxiety as she looked from Dean to Cas “Please, please, please?”

Dean went silent and looked at Cas, as though he was looking for his validation. Cas smiled as the green pairs of eyes focused on him.

“Go ahead, sweetheart. We’ll be right behind you” he said, kissing her cheek before she jumped out of bed and run towards the door.

“And, _Charlie_?” Cas shouted before she left the bedroom.

She stopped at the doorway and looked back.

“Yes, dad?”

“Wait for us to open the biggest one, will you?”

“I promise” she smiled back at him and ran out of the room.

There was a brief moment of silence before Cas stretched his arms and kneeled on the mattress, preparing himself to get up. Then, he realized Dean was still static. The angel rested his hand over his. 

“You said you wanted to record the moment when she gets the lightsaber” he said, his eyes searching for Dean’s, which looked adrift. From that angle, Cas could distinguish more easily the changes time had operated over his human. There were a new couple of wrinkles near Dean’s eyes, which he hadn’t noticed before.

At the moment Cas spoke, Dean looked to be brought back to the present. His eyes turned to Cas and he smiled effortlessly. Then the angel approached him, still on his knees, and pulled Dean to his chest. They stood still on that position for a while, and then Cas kissed Dean’s forehead, looking at his eyes and cupping his cheek.

Dean closed his eyes, as he used to do when Cas did that, and kissed the back of Cas’s hand.

“Yeah, let’s do it” Dean said.

Cas got up first, and Dean followed him right away. They looked at each other once before they headed to the living-room - where the Christmas tree was. They both smiled as their eyes met.

#### 25th of December, 2036. Sam’s house.

There was a knock on the door. It was almost time for dinner and Dean and Cas were already late. It should be them.

Sam ran to the door, a cloak on his shoulder, as he was almost done with the dishes. Sarah looked at him as he passed by the living-room, where she was watching television and keeping an eye on the twins.

Jessica never caused trouble. She had just come downstairs, and had brought a book with her, as always; she was reading it very peacefully, despite all of her brother’s and the television’s noises. It looked as though she was in a bubble, in her own world. Sam sometimes wondered whether the ability to read in a noisy room he had acquired living with Dean could somehow be passed by genes. 

John was playing with his new dinosaurs, although it appeared he was portraying an action movie. He ran through the room, almost sweating, despite having just showered. While Sam passed by the door, he watched his son almost dropping two decorative statues which rested on a corner table. As Jessica would say, he had all the skill of a clumsy Labrador.

When Sam opened the door, however, he found only Charlie standing there. He frowned.

“Hello, uncle Sam” she said, hugging him tightly “They’re arguing” she explained before Sam could ask anything, pointing at the Impala parked in front of the house.

Dean and Cas were standing on the sidewalk, not looking at the house. One could see they were having a harsh discussion, as Dean moved his arms violently and spoke loudly. Cas tried to calm him down, moving very carefully, trying not to piss Dean off even more. Nevertheless, from time to time, Cas would confront Dean on something, and then the whole thing would go down again.

“U-uh, okay, Charlie, sweetheart” Sam said, placing his hand on her shoulder “You know the way to the living-room. Go on, Sarah and the twins are eager to see you again”

When he looked at her, though, she hadn’t made a slight indication she intended on entering the house. She looked really worried, her eyes fixated on Dean and Cas.

“They started arguing on the way here” she said “It’s about something I couldn’t actually understand, and they wouldn’t explain it to me either”

Sam sighed, and looked at her, trying to calm her down.

“That’s nothing, really” he said “Back on the day, when your dads were not together yet, I’ve seen far worse fights than that one” and he pointed at the two men still absorbed in discussion “They always found a way back, it didn’t matter how bad it was. And it’s been pretty bad sometimes” he said, his eyes distant for a brief moment.

As Charlie was still not moving, Sam pushed her slightly, and patted her shoulder.

“Go on, I’ll talk to them” he assured her “Everything will be fine, I promise you”

With some reluctance, she finally nodded and entered the house. As she did it, Sam followed the opposite path, heading towards the Impala.

Dean was the first to see they had company. He stopped talking at once, putting his hands on his hips and sighing, completely furious. Sam wondered what Cas had done to piss him off like that. It had been years since he had seen his brother like that.

“What do you want?” Dean said to him, as soon as he reached them.

Cas, realizing they were not alone anymore, had went silent as well.

“Jeez, Dean, hello and Merry Christmas to you too” Sam said, despite having expected something like that as he approached them. He knew his brother’s nature better than anyone. He didn’t take well interruptions - or facing his problems, for that matter. 

“Give me a break, Sam” Dean said “I’m not in the mood for a speech coming from you right now”

“What’s going on?” Sam tried once again, now looking at Cas, appealing for the most reasonable of them both.

However, Cas looked to be as inclined to say something as his brother. There was a tense silence, as Sam could perceive Cas and Dean furtively glancing at each other. Then Dean finally broke the stillness. He started walking towards the house.

“Dean, where are you going?” Cas shouted at him “Don’t turn your back on me like that” his voice got even louder.

Dean stopped and turned his head back.

“There is nothing else to talk about, Cas. I’ve told you everything I needed to” he said, and Sam got a bit worried as his brother’s voice broke a bit by the end of the sentence.

Dean then started walking again, without saying another word. Cas and Sam looked at each other; they hugged briefly.

“Hello, Sam” Cas said as they pulled back.

“Cas, what the hell is going on?”

“It’s nothing-“

“ _That_ ” Sam said, pointing at the front door, where Dean had disappeared “Is not ‘nothing’. I know my brother, Cas. That’s something _huge_ ”

“He’s overreacting” Cas simply said, obviously not wanting to say much to Sam “I’ll talk to him, and he’ll come around”

The angel started walking towards the door too. Sam rushed to stop him by holding his shoulder. Cas turned to him again.

“Don’t you think you should let him breathe a little bit? Maybe you talk to him tomorrow, I don’t know” he suggested “Are you sure you won’t just piss him off even more?”

Cas pressed his lips, looking down. He sighed.

“I want to solve this now, Sam” he said, and then he put his hand on Sam’s pulse and took it off his shoulder, smoothly, but with some sort of authority “So, if you’ll excuse me…” he resumed his walk, leaving Sam behind.

The younger Winchester brother looked at the Impala and then at the door. He sighed, passing his hands through his long hair and then followed Cas.

 

 

Cas barely took the moment to say “hi” to Sam’s wife, Jessica and John. He headed straight to the guest room, where he was sure Dean had gone to. He didn’t bother knocking on the door, opening it to find Dean sat on the bed, rubbing his temples with his hands. 

“Cas, I said I don’t want to talk about it right now” he said, his voice contained.

“There is no explanation for _this_ behavior, Dean. You shouldn’t be-“

“ _No_ explanation? Really, Cas?” he said, looking upward, at the angel “I mean, twenty years ago I would understand this cluelessness coming from you, but not _now_ ”

Cas rolled his eyes.

“I was informing you of this. It’s still my decision to make” he said, trying to sound in control of the situation.

“If you don’t care about what I have to say, then why haven’t you done it already?” Dean shouted, getting up again and walking towards Cas, till they were extremely close “Why are you even talking to me about it? If my opinion matters _nothing_ to you”

“You know that is not what I said” Cas sighed, distressed again “I’m sorry, Dean, it’s just that I-I-“

“I’m _not_ letting you do it, Cas, period.” Dean said, turning his back on Castiel.

“Again, it’s not up to you” he paused, and seemed to consider whether he should carry on with what he had to say “And I’m doing it for you, Dean, you know that”

That appeared to distress Dean even more; Cas seemed to regret saying it at once. Dean faced him again.

“Oh, no, if you _were_ doing that for me, you wouldn’t do it at all. Because I’m asking you _not_ to!”

“You mean it doesn’t bother you”

“What doesn’t bother me?”

“You _know_ what”

Dean looked at Cas, saying nothing. He shook his head.

“I’ve seen you, Dean, your expressions; I’ve _felt_ you’re mad about it”

“I’m not mad at _you_ , Cas” Dean shouted, and Cas could see a few tears leaving his eyes “I’m-I’m” and his lips trembled “I’m getting old, okay. There is nothing you can do about it, and I couldn’t be mad at you, because it’s not your fault”

“But, Dean, I-“ he gulped down “I don’t age, I know it doesn’t make sense when you put it like that, but _I_ would be mad at me if I was you”

“It really doesn’t make sense that I would be mad at you for looking so damn _perfect_ all the time” Dean said, rushing to dry the few tears that had fallen on his cheek, trying to concentrate on not starting to cry.

“It’s not fair. And that’s enraging” Cas said, approaching Dean slowly “I get it. That’s why I’m doing it”

He took Dean’s face on his hands, and yet Dean refused looking at him.

“Giving up your grace and becoming mortal doesn’t make me happy, Cas” Dean said, looking down “I’m still going to get old, and then you’ll do too. It won’t do us any good”

“We will be able to age together, at least” Cas said “Look at me, Dean”

When their eyes met - with some reluctance on Dean’s part -, they stood a moment there, without saying anything. Then Cas kissed Dean on the lips.

“I feel so… terrible” he said, as he pulled back, ruffling Dean’s almost completely grey hair “Seeing how time affects you, how it bites your skin” and his fingers caressed Dean’s face “I’ve fallen for you, Dean. And since then, I’ve followed you wherever you went. But if I don’t give up my grace, you’ll go through a path I cannot follow. I don’t want that”

A few tears fell from Cas’s eyes then. He hugged Dean tightly and he returned the gesture. Dean leaned his head on Cas’s.

“You’re an angel, Cas. I knew it when I decided to be with you, I knew it”

“To know it and to live it are two different things” Cas said, closing his eyes as they stood there, still embracing each other, not seeing each other’s faces.

“I know. But-“ and Cas thought that maybe he was crying again “It’s your nature, Cas. I cannot ask you to give up your nature for _me_ , I cannot ask you to give up eternity, and I cannot ask you to be human as well. You remember, don’t you, when you lost your grace?”

“Yes” Cas answered, as though it had been a rhetorical question.

“You’ve told me how much pain you’ve suffered then, how much human emotion got to you, how much it overwhelmed you. I don’t want to see you hurt like that, _ever_ ” then Dean pulled back just enough so he could seek for Cas’s lips.

The kiss was salty, and full of doubts, of sorrow. It had never tasted like that. They pulled back after a while.

“You see?” Dean said.

“I see” Cas replied “But we’re not defined by how we’re created, Dean. It’s our choices that define us” Cas said, staring deep into Dean’s eyes “And I will always choose you. I belong with you, and I want to own it”

There was a brief silence. Dean shook his head and then raised his hand, cupping Cas’s cheek. 

“What did I do to deserve that, Cas?”

“And you still wonder” Cas smiled “If it were twenty years ago, I would understand, but, by _now_ , you should know how important you are to me”

Dean smiled back at him, although it was still a sad, worried smile.

“It feels like I’m caging you” he tried, once again, to make Cas give up his intents.

“You didn’t cage me, I gave in by free will. And I’m happy with it”

“Jeez, Cas, you’re such a stubborn piece of celestial ass” Dean’s smile was losing tension by the second.

“Till the end of the line, right?” Cas said, then, suddenly.

Apparently, those were the words that were missing for Dean to look at him more calmly. There was some kind of adoration on Dean’s eyes then, and a kind of sincere, selfless joy. It looked as though Dean couldn’t bear how much he loved the man who was standing in front of him. He hugged him once again.

“Right, Cas”

#### 25th of December, 2059. Cas and Dean’s house. 

“They’ll be here any minute now” Cas said, turning off his phone and sitting on the armchair beside Dean’s. 

The armchairs were turned to the front of the house. They could see the street through the large window, where Charlie, Sam, and the others would arrive to spend Christmas with them – that year, it was their time to host the holiday dinner. Their daughter had left home a long time ago. She had had children too - as well as Sam’s twins.

It was quite solitary and silent in their house these days.

Everything was peaceful. They didn’t talk too much, the television was on for a low background noise, and their neighborhood was rather quiet. Dean reached out to Cas, and he held his hand. They stood there, looking through the glass, waiting for something to happen, and yet enjoying the current peace of the room.

Dean was really old now. His skin was heavily wrinkled, his hair was all grey, and he had lost most of his former body form. He was a lot skinner now, his face was flaccid, and his hands bore brown stains. As for Cas, no one could claim he was the same from before, as there were a few wrinkles on his face, dark circles under his eyes and a few grey strands of hair on his head. He also had lost muscular mass, and looked a bit more tired than before. And yet, the difference between him and Dean was still remarkable.

The Winchester let go of Cas’s hand and leaned forward, grabbing a bottle of beer from the ground. It left a ring on the wooden floor.

“Well, I’ve got a question which is bothering me since early this morning” Dean broke the silence, looking at Cas and smiling slightly “And I suppose we still have some time before they arrive”

“What is it, Dean?”

Dean instinctively moved his right hand to his chest, and rested it over a pendant under his shirt. 

“Well, do you regret it?” he asked simply, with no further explanation.

However, Cas understood what he meant.

“Not for a single second” he said, smiling at Dean “Well, the thing of being able to get hurt is a pain in the ass, but I can handle it. There are more good things to it than bad ones. But I’ve told you all of that, a hundred times” he said, frowning.

“I guess I always like to hear you say it another time. I never get tired of it” he said, sipping his beer and leaving it on the floor again.

There was a brief silence. Cas could tell he wasn’t done yet. Instinctively, Dean pulled the pendant from under the shirt, still holding it as though he was caressing it. The pendant was in the shape of a little bottle; inside of it, there was some kind of liquid – or at least something fluid. It shone intensely; it was a bright, blinding light. It looked as if it was _happy_ – as far as a light can express emotions.

“But, you know, more recently, haven’t you started questioning, I mean-“ he cleared his throat, letting go of the pendant and pausing a bit to organize his thoughts “I mean, I’m 80 years old, and well” he laughed “you’re like _thousands_ or something years old. And, even if you age slower, as it seems to be, at an age like mine, one starts wondering, you know…”

“Yeah” Cas replied.

The former angel looked through the window, drowned in thoughts and memories for a while. Something a brother of his had said about time thousands of years ago came to his mind.

“To be entirely honest, Dean. When I gave up my grace, I thought I would be terrified of the concept of death, of being able to be touched by its hands”

“You never told me that” Dean said, suddenly worried.

“You were already too unease without this bit of information”

There was a brief silence. But Dean had got a little impatient.

“And so?” he asked, looking at Cas with something similar to fear on his features “Do you feel this, this dread you had expected?”

“Well, yes, and no” Cas said, making Dean frown “Of course sometimes, when I think of it, it scares me, the thought of dying. However, this is a minor feeling, and I had thought it would the main one”

“What’s the main one then?”

Cas squinted, sighing.

“I guess it’s some kind of… acceptance?” he said, pressing his lips “I don’t know, I just don’t worry about it so much”

“And why do you think it that? I mean, it’s a little unusual”

Then Cas’s hand reached out for Dean’s and held it tightly.

“I guess it’s because I’m with you. Weirdly, you know, nothing actually seems to matter as long as I have you”

He smiled. Dean smiled back.

“You’re still charming as an old human, who would say?” they both laughed.

They kept holding hands and looking through the glass. Dean sighed; he really enjoyed that peace. Although, there was something still bothering him, something he should say before the others arrived.

“And what if” he said, and his voice became instantly heavy, as though it was hard for him to pronounce the next words “What if I go first?”

The heavy sensation that came with the words placed itself in the room, in their sacred silence. Dean suddenly didn’t like the absence of noise so much; stillness suddenly was a dead hand reaching out for his feet.

“I heard, in the news, Dean” Cas said, looking at him “that they’re developing a machine, you know, a big, _big_ machine - for those who can afford it. The machine would get, uh, somehow, your thinking process – or, as they’re calling it, your _soul_ , although I don’t actually agree with it”

“What does it have to do with what I’ve asked you?” Dean was suddenly curious.

“They would take your _soul_ , and they would upload it to this machine. And then, well, there would be a virtual world for you to live in. _Forever_ , as they said on the news”

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t look like an alternative I would want, Cas” Dean said “It looks a bit wrong to me, I don’t know. It kind of scares me”

“Me too, a bit” Cas said, pausing for a moment “They called it, and that’s why I remember it, a kind of a _Heaven_ on Earth”

“’Heaven is a place on Earth’, uh?” Dean said, promptly.

“Yeah, exactly, that’s exactly what they said” Cas frowned “How did you know that?”

Dean glanced at him and smiled widely.

“I’m just so glad that there are still some references you just don’t get” he said, raising his beer again “But anyway, I guess it will take a while till it actually starts working, right?”

“Ten years or so, it’s their estimative” Cas said “And I kind of anticipated this reaction coming from you”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I just brought it up because I thought it was interesting. A Heaven on Earth” he said, letting the words sink in, reflecting upon them.

“Well, I already have a Heaven on Earth, Cas” Dean said, grinning “Well, it was actually quite literal for some time” he laughed “Now he’s a bit worn out, but he’s still worth the title of Heaven”

Cas smiled, and was about to answer him when they heard engines running and tires on the asphalt. It didn’t take long for them to spot four cars turning at the corner of the street. They parked in front of the house. Castiel got up, but just watched, together with Dean, as people left the vehicles.

From the first one, a woman of about 40 years old got out. She had long dark hair and green eyes. It was Charlie. From the passenger seat, her husband, Luke, got off too; he was tall and had long blond hair. The back doors opened to reveal three kids, two girls and a boy, who soon ran to the front door.

From the second one, Sam and Sarah, the both of them with completely grey hair, stepped out of the vehicle. The third one belonged to Sam’s son, John, and his wife, Annie. Two kids, a blond boy and a girl with light brown hair, got out by the back doors.

From the last car, Jessica got out, followed by her wife, Molly, who was a bit younger than she, and had short ginger hair. The back doors opened and a little girl of about twelve years old, Mary, stepped on the sidewalk, stretching her legs after the long ride.

Dean was smiling widely as he saw all of his family arriving together like that. It was so big, and joyful - so different from what it used to be. He got up too then, slowly. He hugged Cas from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder.

“I’m so proud of them, and of us” he whispered.

“Me too” Cas leaned his head on Dean’s.

There was a brief moment when everything was still quiet and their house, still empty. The people outside were all greeting themselves. No one had knocked on the door yet.

“Will we ever tell them - Sam, you and I - what we used to be?” Dean asked suddenly.

Cas frowned, as they had never talked about that subject. He didn’t answer anything. He didn’t feel as if he need to; and he knew it actually didn’t matter. It was just a string of the past that had forced itself into the present, a question without the pretension to be answered.

“Just what I thought” Dean said.

And then the doorbell rang.

#### 25th of December, 2064. Charlie’s house.

The Impala was pulled over to the side of the street. It stopped in front of Charlie Winchester’s house. Cas got out of the passenger seat; Sam, of the driver’s. They walked silently towards the door. Before Cas could ring the doorbell, however, Sam touched his shoulder. The former angel looked at him.

“So, how are the things in the house?” he asked.

Cas looked down. He appeared more tired than Sam had ever seen him. His clothes were too large for him, as he had got a lot thinner. The worst thing, however, was that he looked immensely sad. 

“It’s okay” he said, in a low voice “I’ve been picking up some hobbies. People said gardening is good, and also having pets” he nodded “Actually, I think I’m going to take a cat, my neighbor is giving a few of them away for adoption”

“Well, that’s… good, Cas” 

Cas noticed his hesitation. He looked at him.

“What is it, Sam?”

“No, it’s just that-“ he cleared his throat “Well, Sarah has already offered you to stay with us. I thought I could reinforce the invitation. You know you’re family, Cas. You’re always welcome”

Cas smiled faintly.

“Thank you, Sam” he said, stepping forward and hugging him “I’ll think about it, I promise. But, for now, I think I’ll keep living there”

He looked at Sam, still smiling – it was a tired smile, though; it looked as if he was doing that as an obligation. Then, he turned to the door and rang the bell.

They heard steps on the other side of the door. A few seconds later, Charlie appeared at the doorway; she smiled widely as she saw Cas. Her green eyes were radiant, and she was wearing a necklace with a bottle-shaped pendant. There was some bright light inside of it.

Sam also noticed that, from the moment the door was opened, somehow there was a bright smile on Cas’s face too. He looked entirely different from the Cas from two seconds before.

“Hi, dad!” she exclaimed.

She threw herself on his arms, hugging him tightly. To Sam’s surprise, Cas looked small in her embrace – a thing he had never expected to see. And yet, he was radiant too, for a brief moment, as he rested his head on her shoulder and shut his eyes closed.

Maybe she reminded him of Dean, Sam thought.

“Hello, sweetheart”

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is all, thanks for reading and I really hope you've enjoyed it! <3


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